Help Wanted

How about this job? I don't know what you would be "doing", but you'd be "doing" it all day long in front of a fish tank!



How about working at Cold Stone? Not only do you apply, you "audition". I hear they have "the best jobs ever". Or so they say. These guys seem to think so...



Or, how about a baby incubator? I am now permanently scarred. I heard about the pooping in labor, the hernias, the vaginal tearing... but this, I think this pretty much rules it out for me!

Find me a werewolf... in tights.

Minding the gap

The Tube was lots of fun when I was in London.

I mostly loved it because when a train would pull up, there'd be a monotonous recording of some British guy saying, "Mind the gap" over and over.

It was so very British and awesome.

How about finding me a job? Have we done that one before? I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to look.

Screaming queens!

No Liza - but here's a few no-names!













Find me transportation found in London!

Oh, tra la la!

It's Gunther. And he wants you to touch his ding ding dong.


Find me a drag queen.

Anyone still read this?

*bump!*

In order to revive Your Mom, I give you some unusual housepets: baby hedgehogs!

How blindingly cute are they? I just want to give them a hug...except that they are spiky. I've heard of people keeping them as pets, and I want one SO BAD.

Find me someone with a mullet.

To Do

Well, a day like today- a godsent warmth but a miserable hazy rain- calls for just one thing.

Food.

So go gather up some good-to-eats.



Bring it on home.



Cook it on up.



And go to town.




Since I just helped you make dinner, I demand you find me some unusual housepets.

Body arrrrrght (get it?)

Dude, there were so many to choose from. I wanted a picture of Jack Sparrow's arm tattoo, but alas. No dice. Here's a somewhat piratey tattoo instead:

Funny, but I'd have to say I've seen better. Needs more pirate and less Jimmy Buffett. Here's one for a hardcore Star Wars fan. (You want fangirl? I was a total Star Wars fangirl back in high school. Nerdy? Yes.)
And finally, my most favorite one of all. I love it so much I'm almost tempted to get one myself. For the hardcore chemists out there, I give you...this:

Find me something to do on a day as nice as today (that is, if you're not in the northeast where I hear it's pretty frickin' cold).

Twilight Turtle & Piratey Penguins!

Here's Twilight Turtle...


And the piratey penguins!


And a pirate ship just cuz I love them!


Since I love tattoos - find me a cool one!

Kittens = world peace

Ignoring the obvious answer of "alcohol," I suggest a box full of kittens. Kittens make everything better.

Dude, I am a sucker for kittens. They're endlessly amusing.

Find me a baby toy...since I have yet ANOTHER baby shower to go to next weekend.

You Asked For It

Well, you did.
Here is some reading I think is very very important.









Lately my reading has been more edifying than entertaining (though Michael Pollan and Eric Schlosser are both pretty funny fellows, actually, especially for books about food). Find me something I can do/consume/whatever to help me cope with a world gone wrong.

Expecto patronum!

Professor Lupin. Best teacher ever. Why, you ask?

1. Because clearly, first off, you wouldn't be the best teacher ever unless you knew magic.
2. Professor Lupin can actually teach you how to defend yourself against all sorts of dark creatures, most importantly can teach you how to save your soul from being sucked away.
3. Seems like it might be advantageous at some point to have a werewolf on your side.



Speaking of books, besides the 7th (and 6th still!) installments of Harry Potter, find me another book I should be reading.

Rain, A Naked Guy, and some creep hand thing

You could use the umbrella, like this fellow:



Or I suppose even put a pot on your head:



Or crawl into a cave, but make sure there aren't creepy hand monsters lurking in them.



I began a field placement today, so I suppose you might find me an example of the best techer ever.

Today would be a good day for a nap

I saw a commercial for one of these the other day, and I thought to myself: "Now that looks like a comfy chair."
From Cantoni. It's bigger than it looks in the picture--I think you could probably fit yourself and a friend on there for a nice nap.

Find me something to keep me out of the rain.

What is art?

I suppose this post depends on your definition of art.

My favorite has always been Van Gogh.


I am also a fan of Viggo Mortensen, who takes collages to the next level.


Then there are people who turn the bible into lego art. (The Garden of Eden)


And then there is latte art.




For anyone still playing, find me a cozy place to sleep.

Yee-haw!

I had too much fun w/ this one...

The first two, some cowboys dancing!


Or attempting to dance...


The naked cowboys with some guys who WISH they were the naked cowboy...


And last, a rodeo!


Since I'm going down to an art gallery today, find me some neat looking art.

How to grow a Boyfriend from the ground

You can have him, honey...
...because I'm stealing his girlfriend. Muahahahaha!

However, if our plan should fail due to a lack of attraction of Evangeline Lilly to myself (I'll lay it on as thick as possible, I will!), we should have back-up plans.

Back-up #1: Creepy Boyfriend, Inc. They should be able to dig one up for you. But like they claim, he will be creepy and your panties will be sniffed.
Back-up #2: Stuffed boyfriends. Always pleasant. Always warm and cozy.

Back-up #3: Grow one. Guaranteed growth (up to 6xs!!) for your pleasure.





Since I was watching one of the most hilariously awful movies of all time last night, find me some cowboys... doing it their way.

Chuck Norris is god!

First - Chuck Norris circa 1976


Chuck Norris' Action Jeans - won't bind your legs!!


And just plain old Chuck Norris!



Find me a boyfriend! ;-)